Ambition & Purpose

I have always been a very ambitious person. Since childhood, my competitive nature has driven me to excel in every endeavor. I have aspired to achieve unprecedented feats - 'to do things that have never been done before'; to be better than my peers. My ambition was like a mountain; higher than everyone else's mountains, with relentless effort pushing me towards the summit. 

While I've continued to pursue my goals and put in effort, I've also begun to understand my limitations as a human. I have accomplished some of my goals which were very important, but I've also encountered a lot of failures. With these failures comes the realization that life rarely aligns with the rose-colored visions of an 18-year-old. 

Some of my goals might be overly ambitious, achievable only by sacrificing other aspects of life. Given an infinite amount of time, I can achieve all the goals I have without giving up on anything. But as I am getting older, the thought of mortality is beginning to dawn on me. There will be a time when this experience that I am currently having will cease to exist. Time is finite, and more importantly, time within each life phase is limited. 

Have I abandoned my aspirations? Absolutely not! I embrace this newfound self-awareness as a challenge. Adjustments in one's mindset are necessary. The one I have made is to see this time-confined life as a series of tradeoffs. For every action that one takes, there is a set of other actions that one gives up on. This has led to a change in lifestyle wherein I removed a few things from my life that weren't of value to me. But I also realized that some things are precious to me that I wouldn't sacrifice for my goals. I might not be able to achieve everything that I set out for in this life of mine, but I cherish every moment just a little bit more.

So what happens with this mindset? Slowly, my perspective has shifted towards viewing myself less as a fixed entity and more as an evolving process. My focus now lies in maximizing the potential of each day, as how I live each day is a better representation of who I am than my achievements and ambitions. Through this, I began to understand that direction is more important than position. Every decision slightly alters our course, with positive choices guiding us towards the right path and vice versa. And these decisions are made every single day.

By applying this mindset, I wish to continue to get better at embracing the idea that 'Actions are more important than outcomes'. The mountain of ambition is still in my vision, but my focus is now on the path immediately in front of me. Not worrying too much about my position but making sure that each step I take is in the right direction.